i spoke to someone today who went through almost the same thing i did, just that i think mine's milder and not as long.

but the pain is the same.

the pain. if you think holding on is hard. letting go is just as painful if not more painful.

you can't say you don't miss that person. but at the same time something inside says that it's clearly not the right way to be treated.

but still. the pain of letting go. every time you muster that courage, to walk away. and how easily that will can go away too.

i think only the ones in a similar situation would know.


it scares me to think how easily i can crumble and how i find myself trying to explain things which i actually need not to. how i find my heart skipping a beat and how i cannot find the strength to delete things. i don't need a solution because i've searched long and hard enough for it and i can't do it alone. i just needed a hearing ear, someone to know what i'm going through.

thank you for sharing. it made me feel that finally someone understands me. :)



the older i am the more disillusioned i am about this thing called love. and ffs i'm only 23 going 24!

wasn't feeling too great today so....

i took a long nap at 6pm, woke up at 11, planned a movie at 3am, had dinner at 2am, and bought random rubbish for myself from drugstore.com. finally i can lay my hands on my dearly missed pca pigment bar. *glares at ex-bf* (and got 10$ off 50$ order! wah, happy.)

the movie was nice.

Ghosts of girlfriends past.
i quote. "girls like to get screwed, just not screwed over." hahaha!

I love Conner's assistant, Mel. Her indian accent just cracks me up!

a super bad headache came by and visited me during the movie. argh.


it feels good to be doing something other than work, but i still feel shitty. hohoho. and i have bloody huge backlog to clear. and i have client's event(s) to attend! and i was worried about my bff the whole night. nabeh.


more work and marutama ramen later. gonna sleep now.

things are really going smooth and all these while i've really been undercharging my clients.

i gotta admit, working for passion (with passion?) does have a healthy payoff in terms of satisfaction, but the money is still impt. esp when that's the only income i have now and it's what's there to keep me alive.

i actually used 2 coupons for food tonight! *feels like a pauper*



but. things look like they're gonna be great. soon.

i hope they work out well. *crosses fingers*




*grins* when you've hit rock bottom, you can only go up.

My lil bro drew this in class. With a tablet no less, but whoa.



I must say i am impressed. :D
(Just a few weeks ago i was chiding him for his lack of attentiveness in his drawing homework)

Me so proud. *beams*
(I happily passed my old tablet to him, I haven't been and don't think i will be drawing anytime soon. :))

Someone sent me this link, and since i was bored..... i took a photo i had and edited it.

okay i cheated. I was supposed to just use what they gave me, but i couldnt stand it so i .... edited it.



and this was what i did on the site.



Vote for me? :D
http://goto.canon.com.sg/ixus100is/#/stylebook/vote/

(I'm on page 8, #384 :p)

Btw......... can vote everyday!!! :x

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

先走了 去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
生死由天决定 不要太伤心

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

我 永远 爱你。

爱。无力

最后我们分开了
虽然还是朋友
但做回朋友的情人
想摆脱关系不太容易
寂寞成了习惯
习惯靠着孤单
想念该遗忘
不该在身旁
陪着我的每个夜晚
我只想
对着夜空轻轻的呼吸
问自己最爱的人到底在哪里
在慌乱中
翻箱倒柜寻找记忆
有一种
爱它曾经住在我心里
陪伴我熬过多少个无声哭泣
不懂爱情
我的心如此无力
其实我很清醒
其实我很冷静
看着眼泪滴落在手心

"Look at us. We're just like everyone else. We've bought into the same, ridiculous delusion. " - Kate Winslet

“Plenty of people are onto the emptiness but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness.” - Michael Shannon

“If being crazy means living life as if it matters, then I don’t mind being completely insane.” - Kate Winslet

"If you don't try at anything, you can't fail."

“No one forgets the truth, they just get better at lying.” - Kate Winslet




Revolutionary Road.

Tryna decide, tryna decide if I really wanna go out tonight.
I never used to go out without ya', not sure I remember how to.
Gonna be late, gonna be late but all my girls gon' have to wait
Cause I don't know if I like my outfit.
I tried everything in my closet.

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you.
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Take em all off cause I feel a fool.
Tryna dress up when I'm missing you.
I'ma step out of this lingerie.
Roll up in the mall with something Hanes.
In bed I lay in nothing but your t-shirt on.
In nothing but your t-shirt on.

(Radio killa)
Gonna miss ya, can't wait to kiss ya.
Gonna wrap you up in my ar-ar-arms.
(?) do anything for ya
I'm gonna work you out as soon as I get home.
My baby, my lady, while you're walking around mad
I receive a new text from my phone.
I'm going crazy, that's what you make me.
Cause I don't want to go another night alone.

I know I'm not u-u-up in the club
And you will never hear about me with another girl.
Got keys to my heart, you own my love.
I'll never, ever, ever, ever give you up.
And I can understand why you hate it when I'm gone.
Cause I'm so love-sick when I'm on my own.
Hold on a sec, I just got your last text.

Its a picture of you with my t-shirt on.
Its a picture with my t-shirt on.
And I can't stand to see you with my t-shirt on.
I wanna walk through them doors and pull it off.
T-shirt on, I can't take it no more I'm coming home.

Tryna decide, tryna decide.
And I'm tryna get by, tryna get by.
(Oh I) couldn't even leave my apartment.
(There's a pain in my heart and I can't stop it)

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you.
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking em off cause I feel a fool.
Tryna dress up when I'm missing you.
I'ma step out of this lingerie.
Roll up in the mall with something Hanes.
In bed I lay -
(Baby)

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you.(when I'm not with you)
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking em off cause I feel a fool.
Tryna dress up when I'm missing you. (Cause I miss you)
I'ma step out of this lingerie. (I miss you baby)
Roll up in the mall with something Hanes.
In bed I lay (I'm gonna be in bed) with nothing but your t-shirt on.

Nothing but my t-shirt.
Said I got nothing but your t-shirt on.
Cause I wanna be close to you (Nothing but your t-shirt on)
I remember when you would like to see me with nothing but your t-shirt on.
(Nothing but my t-shirt on)
(Hey) Nothing but your t-shirt on.
Let me tell you, no (Nothing but your t-shirt on)
With nothing but your t-shirt on.
And it feels right with nothing but your t-shirt on.

i was having my driving class today.
(YES AFTER MISSING 4 FUCKING LESSONS! My inst's first words to me - "wah, rich." KNN!)

and i beat a red light. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(At a horribly busy junction. In Ubi. OMG. I was really blur.)
(I could have lost my PDL and totally lost my driving privileges, but heng ah, no camera. Phew.)


Holy shit. Hahahaha. And then i wanted to filter into the right lane, but this auntie was behind me. when she saw me turn on my signal, she accelerated! Fuck it... i accelerated as well. She jammed her brakes. NEH. :p

My instructor got a shock thou and commented that im a horribly reckless driver(but he was still smiling).

Later on, he was falling asleep as i was performing my "safe" driving. So i chut stunt to make him wake up. HAHAHAHAHAH! :x


God i swear my CDC instructors hate me. :x


My U turns suck. my driving is atrocious. but i got 3 lesson chops instead of 2 today. :x

lemme tell you what i ate today.

1. lunch - porridge w veggies and stuff (super full after that)

2. after lunch snack - one banana!

*slept*

3. snack - strawberries!

4. dinner - rice w soup n veggies n meat

5.and then more rice with soup n veggies n meat

6. snack - apple. n reese peanut cup.

7. AND one more round of rice with soup n veggies n meat.

8. taohway + eggtart from rochor beancurd in geylang

9. FINAL round of rice with soup n veggies n meat.


i love my mum's cooking. i love eating more.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT IM ALWAYS .... Bitish. I think i eat a lot when i am "stressed", or just laden with work.

Eve Pek : My GPS very polite one okay. she says "PLEASE turn right at 300m."

.................

只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你...

On top of putting me on hold to a parody song of BSB's I want it that way By Weird Al Yank (I~ bought it on ~ eBay~), i had to scan/take pics of my IC and my CC statement...... just to change my god damn name so that i can withdraw the money from my PP account to my local bank account. Duh.

Not to mention that the guy had an accent so strong, it made me want to kill him coz half the time i didnt know what he was blabbering.

Whatever!

I hope the transaction goes thru smoothly. -_-.

Bloody lousy exchange rate (CAN U BELIEVE IT? 1.466???????) and horrible fees (3.4% transaction fee! WHATTHEHELL!)

maybe im being overly sensitive here, but i think i take a little offense when i try hard to get everyone together and they get together on their own without asking me out.

actually i can't be bothered anymore. i am slightly offended (this is an issue that dates back to years ago, the feeling the gave me from then till now - the same, like i don't really belong.) and i know that will pass and eventually i'll still ask them out again and forget everything, but srsly, i have more than enough to handle and i think i'll give my time to people who thinks im worth being friends with and place me ahead of others. at least for now.

:)

what can you do to show you care... without using money?

what would you say.... if i took those words away?


WAHLAO i need a breadou loaf (the long bread lookalike thing for wrist rest selling in action city.) to place at the bottom of my laptop. i love my laptop but its gonna give me carpal tunnel soon.

somehow the mouse isnt as sensitive as on a pc. anyone notice that?

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Well the truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before


Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small, enkindles the great."

I am sleepless in Eunos. O_O..... Work...Work.... *needs to re-prioritize* *looks at eugeug*

This video is NSFW (Not safe for work)



"Gentlemen! This is not the way to test the sensitivity of a condom!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Solid shit!

and oh at the same time. some grim shit.

The girl who silenced the world at the UN for 6 minutes
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=63865811753

なつかしい痛みだわ
ずっと前に忘れていた
でも　あなたを见たとき
时间だけ后戻りしたの

「幸福（しあわせ）？」と闻かないで
嘘つくのは　上手じゃない
友だちならいるけど
あんなには燃えあがれなくて

*
失った梦だけが
美しく见えるのは何故かしら
过ぎ去った优しさも今は
甘い记忆　sweet memories

Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

あの顷は若过ぎて
悪戯に伤つけあった二人
色褪せた哀しみも今は
远い记忆　　sweet memories

*缲り返し

(Romanji)

Natsukashii itami da wa
Zutto mae ni wasurete ita
Demo anata wo mita toki
Jikan dake atomodori shita no

"Shiawase?" to kikanaide
Uso tsuku no wa jouzu ja nai
Tomodachi nara iru kedo
Anna ni wa moeagarenakute

Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories

Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

Ano koro wa wakasugite
Itazura ni kizutsukeatta futari
Iroaseta kanashimi mo ima wa
Tooi kioku sweet memories

Ushinatta yume dake ga
Utsukushiku mieru no wa naze kashira
Sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
Amai kioku sweet memories

(translation : http://momomoo.multiply.com/journal/item/6)

and it struck me.

after reading sunday secrets.




how did the women get pass being on Lost or anything like that?

I'm sure they dont have tampons or sanitary napkins!!!

Yes you.



Please do what you can to help..... :)

Donate, spread it around, and not to worry, it isn't a hoax.


Much Love
Ling

Hitotsubu No Namida




ひとつぶの涙


ひとつぶの涙は何を伝えようとしてこぼれ落ちたの
言葉じゃなくたってハートで感じられると信じていたのに

眺めのいいあの窓辺
何も言わなくても　 あなたが好きな事
全部知ってたつもりでいたんだ

昼間の星を見つけたよ あなたを見つけた日も
同じくらい嬉しかったんだ 今までよりも特別なのに

さよならを上手に言えない私は 明日へ飛べない鳥
少しでも勇気を持つ事できたら ほんの少しだけでも

あなたの影や匂いは　 思い出と一緒に日毎薄れてく
抱かれたうでの痛みは消えないけど

寝ボケたあなたの手を引いて 水色の空見上げた
ふたつ並んだ星指さした あの頃に戻れないかな

ひとつぶの涙は何を伝えようとしてこぼれ落ちたの
言葉じゃなくたってハートで感じられると信じていたのに
さよならを上手に言えない私は 明日へ飛べない鳥
少しでも勇気を持つ事できたら ほんの少しだけでも


I really like this line - (copied)
"Life is short, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything which made you smile."

i started listing down my urgent workload.
then i decided to further take note of the more urgent ones by including an asterisk behind.

i ended up asterisk-ing the whole list.

*shakes head in horror*


im like super duper freaking awake at 6am. my god.

and i have a family lunch on sunday, 2 driving sessions on monday followed by a meeting in raffles at 5 and driving again on wednesday. -_-.... and super duper tight deadlines before 5th March, before 28th Feb, before the coming monday, and ......... GAWWWWWDDDDDDDDD okay this is awful. i need to space my projects out a little more.

But this noon when i met my client and showed him my work....... his jaw dropped. Classic. Really gaping drop. Wah, damn happy. *stoked* *suddenly can last for another 5 hrs w/o sleep*

I just checked on when my oldest and first email was registered..... and it's been 10 years and more!!!!

Evonne Ng
x_________@hotmail.com
Registered since: 17 December 1998



fuck i am so old. hahahaha.

after a long long convo.. with my aunt... my cousin came back with her daddy from school so she excused herself (afk) a while to do the laundry.... then we continued.

aunt : guess where iming (dad) brought avlynn (daughter) for lunch today?
me : ???
me : is it some place i should know?
aunt : HOOTERS!
me : wth, the one with babes??
aunt : luckily she didnt come back n ask me why the jiejie there all wear shorts n skimpy sleevess shirt n w big boobs!


HAHAHAHAHHAHA
(btw it's USA hooters. "silicon" valleys!)

如果不是那镜子
不像你不藏秘密
我还不肯相信
没有你我的笑更美丽

那天听你在电话里略带抱歉的关心
我嘟的一声切的比你说分手彻底
泪湿的衣洗干净阳光里晒干回忆
折好了伤心明天只和快乐出去
这爱的城市虽然拥挤
如果真的遇见你
你不必讶异我的笑她无法代替

离开你我才发现自己
那爱笑的眼睛流过泪
像躲不过的暴风雨
淋湿的昨天删去(忘记)
离开你我才找回自己
那爱笑的眼睛
再见爱情
我一定让自己让自己决定

泪湿的衣洗干净阳光里晒干回忆
折好了伤心明天只和快乐出去
这爱的城市虽然拥挤
如果真的遇见你
你不必讶异我的笑她无法代替

离开你我才发现自己
那爱笑的眼睛流了泪
当一个人看旧电影
是我不小心而已
离开你我才找回我自己
那爱笑的眼睛再见到你
我一定让自己让自己坚定

离开你我才发现自己
那爱笑的眼睛流过泪
像躲不过的暴风雨
淋湿的昨天忘记

离开你我才找回自己
那爱笑的眼睛再见爱情
我一定让自己让自己坚定

再见到你
我一定让自己假装很坚定


暄暄 so PRETTY!!!! *hearts* :3

Are you a man who cherishes and cares for me?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Are you a guard in a prison, maximum security?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Do we stay home all the time cuz you want me to yourself?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Or am I locked away, had a feeling that I’d find someone else
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?

[Chorus]
Well, I don’t like living under your spotlight
Just because you think I might find somebody worthy
Well, I don’t like living under your spotlight
Baby if you treat me right, you won’t have to worry

Is this a relationship, fulfilling your needs as well as mine?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Or is this just my sentence, am I doing time?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
If this is love, real, real love, then I’m staying no doubt
But if I’m just a prisoner, then I’m busting out
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?

(Chorus)

Oh, you oughta be ashamed of yourself
What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Loving me, loving me, so wrong
Baby, all I do is try
To show you that you’re my one and only guy
No matter who may come along
Open your eyes cuz baby, I don’t lie